When Shabbos ends, about 60 minutes after sunset, we say "Boruch Hamavdil bain kodesh lichol." This means "Blessed is He Who seperates between the holy and the mundane." This allows us to do some basic things that are forbidden on the Sabbath, like light the candle for Havdalah. If you pray the nighttime prayers, there is a special prayer called "Attah chonantanu," which accomplishes the same thing.

Now that we have made this declaration, we may prepare to say Havdalah. The firs thing we do is bring wine or grape juice (or coffee or tea, for those who have difficulty with wine or grape juice) and fill up the goblet. We then loosen the cover to the smelling-spices (most people use cloves) so we can get to them easily when we want to. Then we light the Havdalah candle. It should preferably be a candle with more than one wick, or two candles held so their fires burn together, but even a one-wick candle is okay. It is permitted to prepare the items in a different order.

Then we recite Havdalah. After Havdalah is over, we drink the wine, and then we extinguish the candle. Many people have the custom to extinguish the candle by dousing it with the leftover wine in the goblet (not from the wine bottle). I don't recall offhand the reason we do that. I could look it up, if you'd like.

Then we recite the after-blessings over the wine.

That is Havdalah, in brief. If you get the chance, try to experience it at the home of observant Orthodox Jews. Judaism needs to be experienced in person; books and classes, though absolutely necessary, are not enough for someone to learn Judaism. If you email my wife Kresel, and tell her where you live, perhaps she can help you find a place to stay for Shabbos.

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