Liorah Schneider

BS"D

Dear Liorah,

My favorite type of question! I'd LOVE to publicize She'arim.

You sound like you'd fit into She'arim perfectly! You are just the right age, and most of the women who study there are professionals like you. Many do make aliyah, but I don't know the rules about dorm vs. apartment sharing. I was there in the pioneer year, and at that time dorming was more common. I don't know what the situation is today.

The approach to learning at She'arim is unique. It is a very small school - about 30 women - so it is intimate, and close relationships with the teachers are encouraged. At the same time, it emphasizes the development of skills to learn the Hebrew texts with commentators on one's own. It is a wonderful combination of the intellectual, spiritual, and emotional approaches to Judaism. If you want to know more, you might want to contact Sharon Schuldiner, who is the She'arim US representative. And of course, use my links to visit their website!

Hatzlacha Rabba!

Kresel

I am a 17 year old girl who has just recently become Orthodox. However, my mother is not religious. I attend a secular public school and I am in a few honors classes. I want to attend college, but now that I'm learning more about the religion I am starting to understand the traditional role of Jewish women staying home. My mother has stressed the value of education practically since I was born and I don't want to disappoint her or my family; however being an observant, Orthodox Jew is very important to me. I am also starting to learn the laws of family purity and how women and men who are not married to each other are not supposed to touch. It is hard to observe this at a public school and if it were up to me I would attend a private religious school but my mother can't afford to send me to one. As soon as I live on my own I intend to be even more observant than I am now but is attending a secular college going to ruin my chances of marrying an orthodox man and living an Orthodox life?

BS"D

First, may Hashem give you strength in your journey in becoming more Orthodox. It is a very worthwhile path.

And now, to answer your question. There is nothing in Jewish Law that requires a Jewish woman to stay home. I would say that the majority of Orthodox women work these days, although if they have pre-school aged children, it is most likely that they work part time. Our families are a priority for us, while careers are not.

One thing you certainly need not worry about is finding a husband if you have a college degree. I have a college degree, too, and I'm married to a Hasidic man! So this is not an issue to fight over with your mother. You CAN go to college, but you must choose your environment wisely. Many college dormitories are hotbeds for promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol. In short, they are antithetical to a Torah life. So you must find a college with a strong Jewish community so that you will have friends who are striving in Torah as you are.

Here are a few recommendations:

1. Touro College - This is the most Orthodox college I know of. There are campuses in Brooklyn and Manhattan, and there are separate classes for men and women. It does not have a terrific reputation as an academic institution, but for many Orthodox Jews, it is the first choice.

2. Stern College - This is the women's division of Yeshiva University. It is not as religious as Touro, but has a better reputation for secular academics. Some religious classes are required, but they teach Torah even at beginners' levels. It is located in Manhattan on East 34th Street. (The men's division is way uptown.)

3. Bryn Mawr - This is a purely secular, non-Jewish college. Its advantage is that it is for women ONLY. It is located outside of Philadelphia, which has a fairly large and varied Jewish community, so kosher food and Torah classes will be available to you. Bryn Mawr is probably considered Ivy League, so it is both tough academically, and expensive. I am sure scholarships are available.

4. State University of New York at Binghamton - I spent the first two years of my college education here. It has the most important Jewish features a secular college should have: an Orthodox rabbi and rebbetzin who are connected with the student body, and a kosher dining hall for students who keep kosher. The school has an excellent reputation as an academic institution, and since it is a state school, it is relatively inexpensive. If you attend this school, or one very much like it, MAKE SURE you live on an all-women's floor and have a close relationship with the rabbi and rebbetzin. It is still a secular college with a secular student body which loves to party and behave in ways which do not befit a Torah Jew.

5. University of Wisconsin at Madison - Like SUNY-Binghamton, this is a university with an excellent rabbi and rebbetzin. I say this on the recommendation of a friend I learned with in seminary in Israel, and I met friends of hers who were also students of that rabbi. I do not know if they had a kosher dining hall like Binghamton, but the vibrant group of Orthodox students I met is an excellent sign. UW Madison also has a fine reputation as an academic institution. I'd imagine that it is in the same price range as SUNY-Binghamton.

This is not an exhaustive list. There are many other colleges in the States which probably also have these features. So if you are looking for a school with a good reputation in your field of study, or are looking to live in a particular area of the country, let me know and I'll try to help. The main thing is that when you're looking for a college, look at the Jewish life, too.

A MUST READ for observant Jewish college-bound students is Choosing a College: A Guide for Observant Students. It is far more thorough than this letter, and the author has done more research into Jewish campus life than I.

Good luck,